An unsuccessful day of cleaning

Well, it doesn't happen often but I was struck with a cleaning mood yesterday. I woke up and was going to go to the sports bar that my Husker Club meets at to see the ISU game but somehow I knew it wouldn't be much of a game. Plus I knew these "spirits of cleaning" don't come around often so I stayed home.

So first I swiffered the kitchen floor and did some dusting in the living room and my room. I threw some laundry in and used some of kristen's new fabric softener she was bragging about. She bought a 3 gallon jug for like $6. I then put together a new vaccuum we bought and did some vaccuuming. When I was nearly complete I heard a snap and noticed the vaccuum no longer sucked as well. Sure enough I turn it over and the belt for the rotating floor brush broke. On our brand new $300 vaccuum. I mean $40. Can you believe it?

So I take a break and lay on the couch until my laundry finishes. Despite the little snag with the vaccuum, I'd felt accomplished. I laid there and reveled in how good the house smelled. So fresh, so clean, so... Something doesn't seem right. I go to change out my laundry and I see 3 gallons of fabric softener all over the floor in front of our washing machine. The bottle was on top of the washer and during the spin cycle, it shook right off. So once again I found myself swiffering the kitchen floor.

It was just not my day...

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

What really grinds my gears

I'm generally a pretty calm person and don't get upset over much. People ask what my pet peeves are and they are generally pretty minor and even the things that do get on my nerves don't really leave me that upset. But every year, I'm reminded what gets me upset like nothing else... the commercialization of Christmas!

I've got a wedding this weekend for a friend from college, so I'll be making the journey back to Sioux City this weekend and staying in a hotel. I just called the hotel to confirm my reservations and she precedes to put me on hold. Here it is, September 29th... yes SEPTEMBER!!!... and I hear "just hear those sleigh bells jingling, ring-ting tingling too..."!

Don't get me wrong, I love love LOVE the holiday season, including the music, but I hate how it starts earlier and earlier every year. My opinion is that its not to put people in the spirit of Christmas, but to put people in the spirit of buying. I could go on a million tangents with this including my hatred of our desensitization and concern for being P.C. that "Christmas" has become offensive. In fact, once its actually Christmas season, I'll post a transcript of someone else's tangent because they said it much better than I could. I think it was Andy Rooney or maybe Ben Stein.

Anyways, thanks for letting me vent. Merry Christmas.

Get Ready Chris Hansen!

I have been seriously considering deleting my myspace for a while now, or at least going off line with it. I basically only use it to post surveys when I'm bored and I really think I can find a better way to spend my time. If it weren't for the 2 or 3 people I actually do talk to, I probably would have dropped it long ago.

My biggest complaint is the junk you get. I moderate the myspace page for the radio station I work for, and every single person who sends me a friend request, I have to look at their profile first because of all the junk I get. Well, now myspace is making it easier for both sides. The teen flueseys who find it takes too much time to record a disturbing video and post it to myspace; and the 52 year old pedo who is looking for a quick thrill but just simply doesn't have enough material!

I saw the following message posted by the myspace god, Tom. Behold, "we have a new webcam video recorder feature on MySpaceTV. You can now record videos directly onto MySpace using a webcam. We’re already working on the next phase where you’ll be able to post these videos directly into bulletins, blogs, and MySpace messages as well as directly save pictures taken with your webcam."

No good can come of this. I can already feel the predators lurking in the shadows. What the ef, Tom? What the ef?


**note: I am tagging this blog with prison, both because I can't see many opportunities I will use that post again, but also, if you are over 14 and excited about this new feature, thats where you're going.

Packaging Innovations

I've been trying out different quick lunches (mostly microwaveable) to try to cut down on my food costs. I recently looked at how much I'm spending on food alone and realized those $7 per meal lunches really add up! I usually have a cup of yogurt on my way to work and have a later lunch of something simple like a TV dinner or leftovers from food i made the night before. I've been trying out different microwaveable meals to find an equal balance of cheap, simple, and filling and that led me to today's product. Michelina's Tuscan-Inspired Alfredo available in your Wal-mart freezer section for less than a dollar! Now, I was fortunate to grow up in a house where both parents were great cooks so I don't have a lot of experience with TV dinners. If this is the norm, I think I can revolutionize the TV dinner industry with this handy innovation: Directions on the top of the box. Still frozen, I turned the packaging upside down and begin to read the directions. The first one? "Tear back lid about halfway to allow product to vent" followed by cooking instructions. So not only do you have to turn the product upside down to find out how to cook, but the first instruction it gives you is "open me."

Don't think I did anything as stupid as to dump out my lunch. I understand it is possible to read instructions without turning it upside down, however, in lifting it above my head the flimsy container nearly spilled on me twice. I just think its a law suit waiting to happen.

My 50th Post!!

This is my 50th post on this blog. I really don't have anything to say, I just thought you should know. Oh, and I broke 1000 visits to the site. Why? BECAUSE I'M AWESOME!

At the risk of being embarrassed by no one responding, I'm still going to throw it out there that, if you are a reader of my blog, leave me a comment and let me know! You don't have to be a registered blogger to do it but I'm interested to know who you all are! Here are examples of what you could say in your comment:

David, I really enjoy your blog. It gives me inspiration and gets me through those tough days. Thanks for providing the world with this immaculate spectacle of writing. Love, Mom.

David, you suck.

What would Jesus do? He would read your blog, thats for sure

David, there are times when I think the world has just gone down the tube and there's absolutely nothing worth while on the internet anymore, and you go and write something like this... AND TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF!!


David, I read your blog because I myself have a blog titled "Blogs that I enjoy making fun of" and you often times provide me with worthwhile content. So thank you, David, for giving me an eternal well to draw inspiration from for my blog.

David, your blog is great... FOR ME TO POOP ON!

Feel free to use any of the above or write your own!

And as always;

Thanks for bein my friend,
David

Stupid Crime

Well, I was having some difficulty earlier thinking up blog content; now, the ideas are just pouring in, however I'll end the evening with this one.

They announced on the news that two masked men robbed a Dollar General at gun-point this evening in North Tulsa.

Now... call me crazy, but if I ever got ballsy enough to rob something (not that lack of ballage is the only thing keeping me from robbing banks), I don't know that I would pick a store with "dollar" in the name. And if I did, I think I would feel safe leaving my gun at home.

I'm curious what they banked off this. Just how much crack can you can buy with $43.27?

Tastes like... burning

So, here's some advice. Never spray pepper spray up in the air, then watch it come down. I can give this sound advice because tonight, I did just that. Ladies, if a man is going to rape you, mace will fend him off. My eyes are burning and some got on my lips which are burning pretty bad now too.

mace=pain

This is going on my list as one of the stupidest things I've ever done.

State of the World

Is this an indication of the world we live in today or an indication that I am a paranoid idiot?

I'm not normally the type that has a doomsday attitude, but I was getting out of my car to go into the store today and a guy in another car got out at the same time as me. Only, before he got out, he kissed his rosary beads and crossed himself.

My first thought was not that, "Oh, this guy must be religious" it was, "I hope he's not asking for forgiveness because he's getting ready to shoot the place up."

As I walked in to the store, I held the door for him. There was no way i was getting on HIS bad side! As he passed by, I made sure there were no "gun-shaped" bulges anywhere on his body. He seemed to pass, so I bought my things and left.