Top 10 Things I've Learned in Oklahoma

I arrived in Tulsa on April 29th, 2008 which means at the end of the month, I'll have been here for 9 months. With this celebration, I present to you:

The Top 10 Thing I've Learned While Living in Oklahoma

10. How to throw change left-handed. Turnpikes! I remember pulling up to it the first time and awkwardly throwing my change in the catch like Scotty Smalls on his first attempt to throw a baseball and wondering how the person in front of me did it so effortlessly. It's second nature now and I can, like a true Tulsan, do it on the fly.

9. "Boomer Sooner":

Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner,

Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner,

Boomer Sooner, Boomer Sooner,

Boomer Sooner, O-K-U!

Oklahoma, Oklahoma,

Oklahoma, Oklahoma,

Oklahoma, Oklahoma,

Oklahoma, O-K-U!

I'm a Sooner born

And a Sooner bred,

And when I die

I'll be Sooner dead.

Rah, Oklahoma! Rah, Oklahoma!

Rah, Oklahoma! O-K-U!

Thpbpbpbpbpbpb!!!! {said with tongue flailing and thumb pointed in a downward direction}. "Boomer Sooner" is all I ever hear. I never hear people yelling Giddy'up or whatever it is the OSU Cowboy fans yell. THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE NEBRASKA!!!!

8. There are 2 kinds of Oklahoman accents on women. One annoys the crap out of you, the other is kinda hot. Oh, and no guy sounds intelligent with an Oklahoma accent.

7. No one in Tulsa is from Tulsa. I kid you not, I've met 2... two people in 9 months originally from this town.

6. I'm organized. Who knew?

5. 50 degrees and sunny is cold and it "could snow any minute" as one fine upstanding gent put it. And yes, he said it with an Oklahoman accent

4. Never throw away a contact. In this business, its all about who you know

3. Working at Quick Trip is a completely respectable job. People in Iowa drop out of school and end up working for a gas station. In Tulsa, its considered a career. And a good one at that.

2. Turn signals aren't important, you must either go 20 above or 20 below the speed limit, a yellow light means speed up, and a red light means you only have 5 more seconds to get through the intersection unless its a turning lane, in which case you have 10.

1. No one is a good driver {see above} including Cops. If you turn on your signal and slow down you'd better turn or (nearly) get rear ended. And for the trouble he'll pull you over for an "unsafe lane-change". "But officer, I didn't change lanes" will not get you out of a ticket. "I'm sorry officer, I'm from Iowa. See-my license and tags clearly show that"; will, in fact, get you off with only a warning.